Crushing Gardenias

There are gardenia bushes just outside our street in the village. They had been there for a very long time. And when I was talking about my wedding two years ago, I said that I wanted gardenias for my wedding bouquet. Unfortunately the flower makers didn't have gardenias, instead they used white roses and put in some purple grapes. Yes, I had grapes on my bridal bouquet.

While shooting gardenias after the rain a week ago, I was not only intoxicated by their scent but was so captured by their beauty that some poignant thoughts crossed my head. The flowers were just too sweet-smelling I recalled that saying about forgiveness: that Forgiveness is the sweet scent the flower gives us when we step on them.

I have always believed that. I guess that is just a simplification of many philosophies of non-retaliation, of Christ, of Gandhi, of many other revolutionaries and peacemakers who opened the doors of enlightenment from the world's ignorance.

 

I know that human conflicts are inevitable. I am this old not to have experienced frictions with other people. There were the people who told you lies, who made promises and broke them, who borrowed money and you never heard from again (quite a lot), who raided your fridge (quite a lot too), people who pushed you and pulled you, sent hate letters, and so many other forms of human discord. Time passed and you eventually parted ways. It has been my own principle not to sow grudges so I will not reap them. So I go on and live my life, forgiving those who might have done me wrong. Then comes a time when you meet again. Sometimes they'd tell you that they heard about you, and that they're glad and proud of you. Sometimes they'd write a mail telling you "that you do cross my mind every so often." Sometimes they'd tell you that they watched  TV and the news reminded them of you. In your case, you've forgotten who these people are. You've forgotten how in the first place you were ever entangled with their existence.  And little by little, they begin to confess about their lives. You don't judge. You just listen. And just by listening, you can only feel the agony of what they've been through.

The mystery is this, the fragrance of a flower haunts you. And the more you crush the flower, the stronger the scent becomes.

The Propagation of Species

"IN the animal world we have seen that the vast majority of species live in societies, and that they find in association the best arms for the struggle for life: understood, of course, in its wide Darwinian sense – not as a struggle for the sheer means of existence, but as a struggle against all natural conditions unfavourable to the species. The animal species, in which individual struggle has been reduced to its narrowest limits, and the practice of mutual aid has attained the greatest development, are invariably the most numerous, the most prosperous, and the most open to further progress. The mutual protection which is obtained in this case, the possibility of attaining old age and of accumulating experience, the higher intellectual development, and the further growth of sociable habits, secure the maintenance of the species, its extension, and its further progressive evolution. The unsociable species, on the contrary, are doomed to decay."

                – Peter Kropotkin, Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution (1902), Conclusion.

Source

A Fish Story

First, there was the boat. 

 Then, the catch.

And finally, the fare.

"Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it." 

-Lao Tzu

Passion

"If the world hates you, remember, it hated me first."

   

    I'm beginning to think that the Holy Week of 2011 has a looming unnamed presence in my life right now. I haven't prayed or mused over salvation and faith and acts of faith before. Maybe because it runs through my birthday (a sign that I am gettng older), and therefore makes me a little more laid back and think of other things besides business or work or craft. I tend to think more of my little family, my husband, my child, and a good marriage- the few things I cannot leave behind. I'm not in a mood for vacation. The thoughts about my book release are suspended temporarily in my head.

   Last year, Holy Week, was the first time I've watched Mel Gibson's film. I used to read about it from the papers many years ago, but at the height of all that controversy or many questioning about the film, I wasn't enticed at all to watch it.And when I did, I went beyond the movie-ness of the film but took it as a peek to the existence of Christ.

 

"Love one another."

Pouring Water

Baptism is one of those most symbolic rites where water is involved. I love baptism.

Benediction Preparations

Julienne is getting baptized on the 30th. Reminds me of my own wedding.

Goethe In My Mind

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

Three A.M.

 

Book seen at my brother's office in the big house. I have my 3 a.m. experiences too, and I will not make nursing my daughter an excuse why I am still up at these hours. For some strange reasons, I love keeping awake just when everybody  is asleep.  Reading a book, updating my book, reading and writing letters. The silence is poignant. Beautiful.

God Light

 

They have this term in photography called “God light”, a certain look of the sky that seems to place heaven here on earth. It is said to be used in religious pictures, cards – and all other interpretations of God in pictures.

My cousin saw a 'heart' floating in the sky and shot it.

I like looking at the sky no matter how it looks like. Though I don't see God there, the infinity gives me so much hope.